E3 2018, Day Three: The Ubisoft Conference

Let's see what everyone's favorite Off-Brand Frogs are up to this year. Once more, Mister Metokur delivers.

Summaries:

• Oh no, they brought their own hosts. A furry leading a marching band. Cosplayers. A musical number with dancing. Just. STOP.
• Just Dance again. October. Get the fuck out already.
• Beyond Good & Evil sequel feels all Captain Harlock. Jade's gone Space Pirate. Oh, and they want fans to be free testers and content creators for the game- via HitRecord. Nope. Hard Pass.
• Rainbow Six Siege. "Community". Yeah. Fuck that bullshit. I'll put the RPG Pundit's video on "community" below because that's a fucking scam- it's a means for SJWs to converge a scene. Oh, and a documentary on eSport bullshit no one asked for or cares about. FAIL.
• A new Trials release with more Evel Knievel. Yawn. I can't be bothered to give a shit about this at all.
• Division 2. Let's set the sequel in the other American city with fucking retarded strict gun control laws that nonetheless has a civilian militia that's armed to the teeth with weapons that you can't fucking own legally now without spending a small fortune and putting your prints on file with the ATF. Also, still bullet-spongy. And they added 8-man raids. Fuck this game.
• Another MarioRabbid game. Also a new Donkey Kong game. I didn't care last year. Nothing changed. Enjoy if that's your thing. The live music demo is a stunt that just gets in the way and signals that you don't have confidence in your game, which isn't a good sign (duh).
• It's the pirate game we saw last year, the one derived from AC4 Black Flag. With more ripped-off Pirates of the Carribean stuff. Oh, and this time we get some bullshot fake gameplay tutorial footage.
• Last year's horror title by Frodo & Friends is back. Still don't give a shit.
• It's the Space Opera ripoff of The Burning Crusade, again. Still got the toy tie-in too. Oh, and randomly Star Fox is in this shit as a Switch-exclusive crossover. Fuck this game.
• For Honor. Not dead, inexplicably, given how well it went over.
• Crew 2. Don't care.
• Assassin's Creed: We're Not God of War. Well, let's see if this is less of a shitshow than We Wuz Kangs was. More bullshot gameplay footage. More liberties with history and mythology taken for Socjus reasons. Nope.
• No Splinter Cell. Razorfist rant incoming!

Oh, I feel a week's ranting coming on.