The Business: This Shit's Coming To Corporate Tabletop

Recently the devs for Final Fantasy XIV announced what the new Beastmaster Job will be.

Since most of you don't play this MMO, allow me to define what "Limited Job" means: a Limited Job is a type of character class that is intentionally unbalanced on the understanding that it cannot engage with playable content as the non-limited Jobs do; how these restrictions manifest, and what exclusive content they access, varies by the Limited Job.

So no, Beastmaster (BSM) cannot join parties with the other Limited Job (Blue Mage) or the full Jobs (Dragoon, Machinist, White Mage, Red Mage, Warrior, Black Mage, Ninja, Dancer, Viper, Reaper, Paladin, Gunbreaker, Sage, Scholar, Summoner, Samurai, Monk, Bard). It cannot go the current level cap (100), or even access any expansion content due to being capped at level 50 and thus only to the base game of A Realm Reborn- which would be acceptable if it was open to Free Trials, but it's not (unlike Blue Mage) as you need to have Dawntrail (the current expansion as of this post) on your service account to do so.

Put this in Tabletop terms.

You're Wizards of the Coast. You announce a new Class or Subclass for Current Edition, but it's paywalled behind a specific tier on Beyond and not in any digital or print product; you can't use it in Organized Play unless you're rolling alone or in a single (sub)Class party, and you're capped at 10th level while everyone else can go to 20th or more. (N.B.: Roll For Combat has a Third Party take, which is Please Don't Sue Me Nintendo: The Class.)

Does this sound like good product design--nevermind game design--to you? It does if you're a Mammon Mobster. Those folks occupy WOTC's C-Suite as well as Hasbro's.

"This can't work."

Bullshit. It already has. The majority of Current Edition players and Referees are already hopelessly yoked to Beyond; they damn well will go along with being milked in this fashion if the value proposition for microsubscription is good enough and WOTC is smart enough to deliberately release new stuff under this model in an overpowered state (as is further incentivized with the adoption of a Seasonal content release schedule; make the new Season's new widgets overpowered and players will pay to win every single time because if they don't they lose, hard).

The only thing needed to finish this pivot is to yank Referee discretion on what players can access to use, meaning that the same optimize-your-fun dynamics we see in MMOs, Battle Royales, and Extraction Shooters will come to Corpo-Approved Tabletop because theirs is a model that maps closely to Blizzard's World First Raid Clear race model and the parallel Mythic Plus Tournament race model (and will incorporate a lot from the more PVP sort of competitive play). Racing to see who can clear modules fastest, mapping out routes, optmizing parties, all of that stuff- this is what WOTC wants for Current Edition because it's proven to make people pay, pay more, and pay more often.

Normies want this. Casuals want this. Tourists want this. They say they don't, but Revealed Preferences prove that they do.

WOTC wants Normiebux. This is how you get it. Cargo Cultists can't even grasp what's going to happen, but they're going to find out sooner than later and they'll be forced to either conform to stay in the Network or get left behind.

This is as radical a change in their Just So Cargo Cult paradigm as the Clubhouse model is, and like the Clubhouse it's far more social and Normie-friendly so they'll lose out by resisting it. The pressure from above will be overwhelming; the Clubhouse coming from below removes their road of retreat, trapping them in the middle and unable to move out of the way.

Their time is over. Shit like this will be why, and they will not be admitted into the Clubhouse; they're done.

The Culture: This Greyhawk Thing Is Another WOTC PR Scam

At least some folks have sufficient self-respect to demand public acts of contrition before opening the coin purse.

This is all theater to bring back the clapping seals.

This apology — why are we hearing about it from Luke? Why wasn’t it made publicly?

Because the insults and dismissive remarks were public. The messages on old school rulebooks about their problematic content are still…

— OSRDwarf (@OSRDwarf) March 23, 2026

Not that Wizards of the Coast will give it. They know that the Soup Aisle will cave, again, and thus the cycle resets anew because the Network Effect has teeth and thus Fear of Missing Out is not a phantom threat with no substance.

They still have no capacity to stand on their own. They don't acquire prospects independent of WOTC. They don't have any value proposition, given their own presuppositions on what the hobby is and how it works, that makes defecting from WOTC worthwhile; there is no value to being king of an irrelevant backwater instead of a player in the big ocean of primary concern and action.

They still get easily rooked by Public Relations fakeouts like this. It's the same 'memberberries bullshit we've seen before; there's nothing substantive behind this- it's the sort of thing that usually gets done as a crowdfund campaign, makes a splash, and thus gets forgotten about because there's no follow-up and nothing done to incorporate it into the real business that WOTC runs. It's fake and gay.

Glad to see a few sus it out for what it is, but a few is not enough; all of you need to get on board, and all of you need to stop soyjakking when WOTC throws out the bait. They're using your idols to fuck with you, and too many of you are too addled to recognize when you're being scammed.

The Business: Age of Shitmar Failing? Day Ending In "Y"

Seen on Twitter earlier this week.

Warhammer: Age of Sigmar is dying in the most literal way imaginable. According to leaks, poor sales and a worse reputation for the game are pushing Games Workshop to push the "End Times" button again and reboot the setting. But that's not the funny part.

They're going to kill… pic.twitter.com/Rtj668KoMq

— Marshal Bohemond ⚔️⛨ | Space Marine Vtuber (@HMBohemond) March 23, 2026

Considering that Games Workshop had to be compelled to re-release Fantasy as The Old World (and still, spitefully, slipped pozshit into it) I am not at all surprised to hear this. No one likes Shitmar.

Keep chasing those cultists that have no money and hate what you do, GW. Meanwhile, I'm telling everyone to pirate what you do that's worthwhile so that it exists after you're nothing but a putrifying corpse in a bog.

The Culture: This Is Why Wizards Treats Them With Contempt

The Soup Aisle proves that they are suckers.

No one with a clue buys any of this bullshit.

This is the same Ruse Cruise pulled before more than once by Wizards of the Coast to sucker the Grognards into supporting the company and giving them money.

They keep doing it because it works. This video proves it. So are other similar videos.

This is pathetic.

You people deserve to be treated with contempt by WOTC's C-Suite and Management if you're that easily suckered and rooked by one of the most basic bitch marketing ploys.

This is why WOTC wants to close the Walled Garden and shut you all out if you don't sit down, shut up, and follow their lead- and it is also why so many of you are delusional in your pretensions of relevance and importance. WOTC uses you and discards you like like the cheap whores you are, and like some Alpha Widow you cry about how you can't get WOTC to do anything for you unless you put out for them first and once you're past your sell-by date you're thrown on the trash heap- which is where you belong.

No self-respect, no dignity, nothing but abject submission to the Pop Cult Idol you worship and adore as its priesthood uses and abuses you like all cult leaders do.

Then you have the gall to say that you're anything but a parasite subsisting off WOTC's Network Effect to be able to pretend that you're at all an alternative to The Only Game That Matters.

Meanwhile, you have WOTC's own words telling you plainly what they're going to do and why- and yet, here you are, delusionally insisting that "He's changed, really, he means it this time!" as you run back for one more round of being used and discarded.

This is why none of you are to be admitted to the Clubhouse. No place for delusional whores in a hobby for men.

The Business: As Predicted, They're Trying To Jump In Front Again

Go figure, as soon as the Bros prove beyond a doubt that they're right about something here comes the Soup Aisle to steal credit and say it's theirs.

"Oh hey, you should totally play in a regional map with lots of factions and things to see and do."

Notice that Tenkar left out Braunstein, that he's still being a Merchantfag shilling for product, and presumes that the Cargo Cult has a future?

Meanwhile Wizards of the Coast, by proceding with the Walled Garden, is cutting off their Prospect Acquisition Funnel because none of these retards bothers to do any work to get and funnel prospects on their own and don't even think to try. Every last one of them parasites off of WOTC's marketing and advertising campaigns. EVERY! LAST! ONE!

Going digital-primary, rooting on Beyond, going full Walled Garden- this cuts that parasitism off by freezing them out of the Network Effect that they've benefited from for so long that they forgot how to justify their own existence to anyone else.

Meanwhile they're stll trying to do the Gamma Male thing where they jump in front of the parade, steal credit for all the cultural recovery, and then steer it all back into the Soup Aisle Cult Cell Basement.

They wouldn't do this if the Bros weren't effective. They're being crushed from above by WOTC, and crushed from below by the Bros. They still think that their Calvinball non-game cult cells playing in the basement is the real hobby and then wonder why private MMO servers rook them without noticing their existence. Like Commies, they can't think outside their own paradigm, but they can sense when something threatens it when they hear it; they try to steal from those they think they can cheat, and go full-tilt bozo in delusion to cope with those they can't.

The Business: Seattle Pulls A Bait-And-Switch

GaryCon went down over the weekend. There was some Wizards of the Coast-related announcements.

Wizards of the Coast's D&D Design Team made an appearance at Gary Con XVIII and discussed the future of the brand at a press conference on March 19, 2026. Big news came out at this press conference, which was led by Gary Con founder Luke Gygax (see “ICv2 Interview”) and the new head of the D&D franchise Dan Ayoub, starting with the announcement that Luke Gygax will be collaborating with D&D design team on upcoming projects. Gygax specifically noted that he will be lending his expertise on the Greyhawk setting to future projects, and mentioned a possible Melf's Guide to Greyhawk book coming down the road.

“I grew up playing in Greyhawk,” said Gygax. “The names on the Greyhawk map are named after not only my family, but my friends and relatives. It is a place where I experienced all those adventures as Otis, the Ranger... the places we visited in those early campaigns are all seminal memories for me.”

Ayoub discussed his passion for the D&D brand at length, and acknowledged that he is aware of how D&D design may have gravitated away from fan expectations in the last several years. He addressed the gap in new release information that occurred at the end of 2025 into February 2026, which was primarily due to team transition, and limitations on the team's ability to block releases due to the creation of new content. Ayoub also committed to an annual unveiling of the next year's D&D lineup at Gen Con, starting in 2026 (for the 2027 lineup).

Ayoub also addressed plans for the new Season model for D&D (see “'D&D' Roadmap“), which span roughly three to five months depending on the product release. Ayoub is an advocate of the module format, so aside from the banner releases announced for each Season, there will also be modules on the way.

For retailers, Ayoub reaffirmed the company's dedication to publishing print copies of D&D books. He also reaffirmed the D&D brand's commitment to supporting retailers:

“(The hobby channel) is the beating soul of D&D,” said Ayoub. “I think it is something we've lost sight of a little bit. We've started sharing plans with retailers our plans to support retail...part of the plan behind Seasons was to help support retail.”

I wouldn't get your hopes up.

According to @LGosumba who said he is part of the team working on it with Luke, he seems to say no WotC internal personnel is involved

— Nobleshield (@Nobleshield) March 21, 2026

The Pundit continues.

So in other words it's not really a wizard's product at all. It's just licensed... https://t.co/bleFQyZT8P

— RPGPundit❌ (@KasimirUrbanski) March 21, 2026

Which means it's not really part of the Brand. The target audience--Normies, Casuals, Tourists--will not engage with it, especially if this is a print-primary product when Wizards of the Coast have already pivoted to being digital-primary and root the business on Beyond and its service-based model.

The Soup Aisle still thinks that print is going to be primary, that retail matters, and that their siloed cult cells in their basement playing Calvinball is the hobby. Like it or not, WOTC's C-Suite is correct to see that going digital-primary is the smart play because it removes the friction that's been a Known Issue for decades. Beyond is now the root of the business because it is superior in recruiting, training, and retaining players from those three demographics; they pay, they pay early, and they pay often with little difficulty because C-Suite's making the game resemble what they're already familiar with in competing media.

Tabletop, as a business, is driven by Network Effects. That means control over friction. Normies (et. al.) treat friction as failure, so they always go with the least-frictive option; this is why they accept Beyond and other digital formats over what the Cargo Cult demands is still the way to go- even when the data says otherwise.

WOTC isn't stupid or wrong to go digital-primary when all of their competition--Vidya--is already there. We already have online play via Discord as normal; using Beyond is just a fait accompli once you've made that shift for Normies.

This is the pressure from above crushing the Cargo Cult. The Clubhouse is the pressure from below. The collapse is in process for Conventional Play, and anyone thinking that this changes a damned thing is maining Copium straight into their veins like a junky. Either way, the Cargo Cult is on borrowed time and is counting down to extinction; what will remain is WOTC's Walled Garden and the Clubhouse- and the Soup Aisle will have nothing.

The Culture: The Bros Will Make Tabletop Great Again

Correcting the record on how Tabletop came to be is not over yet.

Published in 1975, this article shows Tony Bath recalling an event that happened "some years ago".

I could expound on the significance and implications.. However, I believe you can see the importance of it for yourself.

Tony Bath was and is the true unheralded father of "D&D". pic.twitter.com/2IaYHCxGDe

— Crossface Killah (@Crossface02) May 4, 2025

And this also means correcting what Tabletop is and how it works.

The #BROSR is seriously discussing, with real #dnd play examples, how to run campaigns with 50 players (for real, in actuality). Our detractors are still whining about how their 4 buddies keep cancelling conventional delve sessions on them, folding their game at session 6. https://t.co/10aq7sWXtt

— “Winning Secrets” on Kickstarter (@Bdubs1776) March 18, 2026

Because man, Brian Neimeier saying that the Pop Cult leads to the Death Cult keeps getting confirmed.

What if the average conventional D&D player is not only fucking retarded, but actually evil?

Let's hear what a guy with a "LOL Charlie Kirk was murdered" gimmick account has to say about player driven campaigns: https://t.co/aJemtr0rs3

— Cirsova: Winning Secrets on Kickstarter Now! (@cirsova) March 18, 2026

Rule Zero: How Calvinball makes "believing absurdities" turn into "committing atrocities" possible.