The Culture: Reading The Manual Avoids The Issue, Go Figure

This is another "READ THE MANUAL, RETARD!" moment.

Let me save you the time: Run the game as written and you won't have this problem.

Why say this? Because the Bros are forcing the issue.

The thing about Braunstein is that it solves the biggest problem in all of hobby gaming: getting players. No players exist to play the wargame on your shelf that you bought twenty years ago. No players exist to play in that obscure rpg that you have wondered about for your entire life. Every gamer I have ever met has entire shelves of unplayed games and practically zero opponents. Start thinking about everything through the lens of a Braunstein, and… suddenly everything works. Getting games on the table ceases to be a chore. Incorporating people that have no idea what is going on becomes not just feasible but also fun. While conventional rpg sessions seem to devolve into weird humiliation rituals, Braunstein events are more akin to a party. Play is simply happening in this decade in a way that was not happening previously. We know this is the case because BrOSR play generates new referees all the time whereas conventional “forever DMs” have nothing to show for their efforts.

- Jeffro Johnson

Read on Substack

The Culture: It's Not Just The H-1Bs Scamming You, Gamer

Witness three useless faggots try to justify their existence.

"So Professor, why did you make Yet Another B/X Retard Clone?"

"Because I am a Very Smart Boi who knows the Real Thing better than the creator so I made the game in my head and suckered you retards into giving me over a million for it."

"You are very smart."

Fuck fuck's sake, this is as Jeet as it can get without anyone actually being a Jeet. Sure, unlike the Scam Race, the Professor will actually deliver but we have Yet Another Fucking B/X Clone when the real B/X is right there and legally available; the only reason to buy a clone is to either do scummy shit with the money or because you're a retard that can't hack playing the real thing.

That is before accounting for B/X being inferior to the Real Game (AD&D1e).

You don't need this crap. You don't need to Consume Product. You need a real game and you need to Git Gud at it. 10K Hours playing the Real Game is superior to giving this waste of flesh, or anyone else making clones, a penny of your money or a second of your time- and yes, you can play for free if you have the hookup (i.e. dig through the Internet Archive or other online PDF archives).

Or you can play a fully functional game like AD&D.

The Culture: Witness The Cargo Cult Madness In Action

Chubby Funster dropped this video earlier this week.

To which Jeffro responded:

This is legitimately weird. 1) it demonstrates that playing in a conventional game is really about playing in a game world that nobody is playing in 2) it highlights how turning even a supposedly good campaign setting into a “living world” in this fashion requires you to ignore half or more of the adventure hooks outright. Who is actually going to do this? 3) to simulate the effects of braunstein play in a conventional game requires the referee to track all kinds of things and then present events and scenarios in such a particular way that neither the players nor the factions have any real autonomy 4) it would be far easier to actually run any kind of Braunstein game… But of course, this type of gaming content isn't for people that actually run games. It doesn't have to work. It doesn't have to produce replicable results. It just has to sound smart. That's it!

- Jeffro Johnson

Read on Substack

It is simpler and easier for all involved to just use Braunstein methods. Literally the meme here.

from Imgflip Meme Generator

The Business: You Can't Carrot Your Way Out With Retards

On Monday, Arch dropped this.

Pain--the whip, the stick, the brick--is far more likely to get the desired results than the carrot when dealing with midwit and worse quality people.

Arch didn't get into it, but those familiar with how Jeets in power operate are not surprised; they are always eager whip-wielders when placed in power over others, willing to enforce whatever they are told by their masters and patrons, and women are not only no less likely they are often more hair-triggered when they do. Thus Queen Jeet of XBox doing this surprised no one aware of this.

She serves the shareholders. The shareholders want Number Go Up. Whipping the studios producing the products that drive that number, when they have been indolent and incompetent for years on end, is going to produce positive results for now. Given the cultures of those rotting in their chairs there, that is the only way to get results out of these losers.

It's a mixed bag; the shareholders are not our friends, and there is no guarantee that the games produced will be any good, but for now this is a net-positive development. The question that remains is if the public--us--have any leverage over the shareholders, ideally by just Not Buying Shit and (just as important) Not Talking About Shit.

That includes a certain movie currently in theaters.

The Business: Behold Grifting Beast Shilling Crap No One Needs For Games No One Plays, Again

When I say that most Cargo Cultists are Consumerist Product Pushers constantly shilling on the position of "Your game is shit. Buy this widget to fix it" this is it.

Civilized societies string these leeches up and hang them from lampposts.

You don't need this if you have a competent game. You make your own as you go, and as such you care about what happens because YOU HAVE SKIN THE GAME!

This? This is Frustrated Narrative Faggot Syndrome in action, the refuse shat out the anus of a frustrated fake writer and repackaged as a Tabletop supplement hoping to score some sucker's paycheck. Even the Pundit doesn't crap out this waste of wood pulp.

You need a real game (AD&D1e), a blank map, some dice, and about 15-30 minutes. This, at a leisurely pace, gets you what you need to get started.

Everything else is a waste of time, a waste of money, and a waste of attention. Everything. Else.

The Culture: They Keep Trying To Steer Things Back Into Their Cave Prison

When Jeffro and BDubs shit on Cargo Cultists for willfully misrepresenting things, shit like this is what they're talking about.

Fuck off, retard.

This faggot knows that the Bros exist- I've flat-out TOLD him so.

He's been SHOWN BROZER and UMBROS. He knows about Winning Secrets. He's no different than the Oldfags who keep trying to steal #BROSR developments and try to reframe them in Cargo Cult non-game terms.

He is willfully avoiding the fact that this hobby runs off Braunstein, which means he's not an honest actor- and that applies to all of the Cargo Cultists, regardless of whatever flavor of shitsandwich they shill for. This is what "Gamers are terrible people" means when you hear people like Jeffro or BDubs shit on them.

The Culture: Oh Look, That Thing The Bros Talked About Turned Out To Matter After All

The thing Oldfags say never happens happened.

Oldfag PRESUMED that a greeble did X, when the rules state that it did Y.

Why did Oldfag do this? Calvinball.

When you go "Rules LOL, do whatever, LOLSORANDOM ain't I hip and cool?" you end up making these kinds of fuckups because you never take the time to do the one thing that always prevents this fuckup from happening.

What would that be?

READ!
THE!
FUCKING!
MANUAL!

Lazy faggot got caught out and now he has a sad about it. Off to the Carousel for you, Oldfag. Time to Renew.

Play the game. Play as-written. Do not deviate. This means that you read the rules, study the rules, and master the rules as they are- not as you wish they were. This may involve exercising reading comprehension skills long rusted to due decades of disuse, but that's not my problem.

The Bros are right again.