The Business: Of Course The New Conan Game Is Pozzed

That new Conan product? It is as you expected: Dead On Arrival.

so this is in the new Conan RPG.......... ugh. already starting to regret backing... it better get good soon.

Silverlining I guess it's good, cause if you bring it up you'll be leaving my table.

Crom has no time for your sissiness pic.twitter.com/opiXZemsNn

— DiscoBarbarian (@BarbarianDisco) April 12, 2025

More performative faggotry.

Not that the one immediately preceding it was any better. Our poor Cimmerean hasn't been given decent--not proper, decent--treatment since Mongoose has the license many years ago now. Before that, Steve Jackson Games had GURPS Conan and it too was well-done. TSR had its Conan adventure modules, but even those were not necessary: AD&D1e, as-written, is plenty capable of delivering all that our favorite blue-eyed warrior from the cold north of Hyboria would want.

You want something? Fine:

• GURPS Conan
• Mongoose's Conan
• TSR's Conan game and modules

But that's not sufficient. To grasp Conan and his world, you need to read the original Howard stories. Not the movies, not the comics, not the pastiches- the raw, real, originals penned by Howard.

• The Coming of Conan the Cimmerian
• The Bloody Crown of Conan
• The Conquering Sword of Conan

It would help if you also read the Kull, Bran Mac Morn, and Solomon Kane stories as many themes and elements persist across this corpus (e.g. "Kings of the Night"). (And if you go that far, you might as well get the El Borak and Sword Woman stories too.)

It is fortunate for them that Bob is long dead. He wasn't called "Two-Gun Bob" for nothing, and Cross Plains didn't raise up pussilaminous wankers back then (still doesn't). Bob saw clearly, through his characters, what this life really is- and he knew what needed to be done to snakes like these.

Don't buy it. Don't boost it--I won't mention it again after this post--and shame those that do; offer up alternatives, and show people how to do the Cimmerean with what they have.