Friday, December 13, 2024

The Culture: Tabletop Publishers, THIS IS YOUR COMPETITION!

You don't compete with each other. You compete with Vidya.

You Conventional Play Cargo Cultists CANNOT COMPETE AND WIN AGAINST THIS!

The #BROSR can and does. How? By doing what only the Tabletop Medium can do. You refuse to admit that you're losing (save for Sorcerers By The Sea, who are defecting to Vidya), so you deserve to get steamrolled by Vidya and rooked hard by Vidya studios and publishers who use your IP for shit-tier adaptations that damage your precious business and brand even further. YOU DESERVE THIS!

If you think that adaptation will have hoards of people clamoring to play the tabletop game, I have a bridge to sell you. Suckers!

It didn't work for SOBS. It won't work for you.

I ask you AGAIN, why should I tolerate your shit-tier non-game products and socially inept practices when I can fire up this and:

  • Play when I want
  • Play how I want
  • Play how long I want
  • Play EXACTLY AS IT IS GIVEN TO ME (i.e. As Written)

Oh no, Conventional Play, what's that? Every one of your faults called out?

No, I don't want to Schedule My Fun like it's a fucking job. No, I don't want to be slaved to the least committed man in the group. No, I don't want some retard changing the rules Because Reasons. No, I don't want any of that- and Vidya allows me to get what Conventional Play offers without the downsides. These days, it's cheaper to boot.

"But Muh Social-"

Discord. Guilded. Slack. Shut the fuck up.

I would sooner fire up Balder's Gate 3 or Divinity: Original Sin and play that co-op than play your trash products (and the trash people from the Soup Aisle that often are found there).

The #BROSR solved all of Tabletop's problems, culminating in the return of the Clubhouse.

What SOBS will destroy from above, we will take from below. You have no right to exist on your Bejeweled thrones, and I have strapped on my sandals.

“Hither came Conan, the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.” ("The Phoenix on the Sword" (1932))

You will prove yourselves worthy of survival or you will be destroyed by someone that will- and you will not be missed.

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