My Life In Fandom: Mouse Wars Confirmed For Corporate Fan Fiction

In case you needed yet another reason to skip the final Mouse Wars film, here's Jeremy from Geeks & Gamers coming at you with another video.

Fine, it's a purported leak. Blah-blah-blah skepticism; you know the drill by now. I'm posting about it because a leak like this one--something with multiple parties saying is mostly correct--has come forth about this far out from each previous film. Yes, I saw a leak spelling out the plot of the film months before release in 2015 and 2017; these leaks played a big part in my decision to see (or not, rather) each film. (If my sister wasn't buying, I would never have seen The Force Awakens in the theater.)

Oh Christ, this is dire. J.J. Abrams is notorious for being incompetent at ending a story, and it shows here in spades. This is the sort of stupid Fan Dumb crap that would be shat on good and hard during the heyday of West End's Star Wars Adventure Journal, and did get shat upon good and hard during Dark Horse's run of the licensed comics series. (Dark Empire was the best received iteration, and that was before the whole Clone Emperor reveal.)

This is not just corporate fan fiction. This is everything that fan fiction routinely gets shat upon put forth front and center, and passed off as "original". Yes, right down to all sorts of contradictory narrative incompetence and Very SMRT Boy signalling. Yes, we get exactly what Rey Sue was going to get at the end: a galaxy where she's the only Force User, making The Force Is Female a literal fact. We get the last of the Original Trilogy notables dredged up and abused in service to Rey Sue before being removed from the stage. We get our one character with any narrative potential undergo one last ritual humiliation before being dispatched.

And yet.

And yet.

And yet you can be damned sure that some folks, who you'd think would know better, will still act the paypig and give the Devil Mouse their money despite being shown the total and utter contempt and hatred held for them. They'll see it in the theater. They'll buy merch. You know the excuses by now, so I need not repeat them. What needs to happen NOW is to start emphasizing that (a) they can't save someone who wants to damn themselves (i.e. no saving this franchise), (b) they're better off walking away from Omelas and taking up alternatives instead, and (c) point out what those alternatives are and where to get them.

• Galaxy's Edge
• Galaxy Ascendant
• Legend of the Galactic Heroes
• Tytania
• Space Battleship Yamato
• Space Pirate Harlock
• Galaxy Express 999
• Getter Robo Devolution
• Super Dimension Fortress Macross (and its sequels)

And, of course, my own Star Knight Saga is part of those alternatives. Why put up with pozzed globohomo poison when there's clean independent originals in the same spirit and Japanese space operas old and new that hit all the same notes? We don't need the Devil Mouse. We don't need corporate fan fiction or propaganda, and we need not put up with it. We just need to be stop being paypigs, have some respect for ourselves, go where we're wanted and give them our money instead.