The Culture: The Trend Towards Standardization Is Inevitable

Over at the Clubhouse, I said this: "'The hobby can be satisfied with just a few games, endlessly played and mastered, in ongoing campaigns. **Maybe, in time, it may be revealed that this hobby only needs one.**'"

To which JD Sauvage said: "I suspect that sufficient mastery of Kriegsspiel combat odds tables obviates the need for most product."

That may strike people as provocative, maybe even needlessly provocative. It's not.

Don't everyone freak out over Kriegspiel just yet; the substance here is that people need to Read The Fucking Manual and Master The Damned Game. So many complaints go away forever once you bother to master the game.

This is why I decry Endless Product Slop and CONSUME PRODUCT! It treats the hobby as disposable, like you're buying cheap shit off Temu that you toss when it breaks because you can't fix it (or it costs more to replace than repair). You're playing in a medium where you Buy Once, Cry Once; playing the game should be more than enough to generate all of the game that you will ever think you need- not needing supplementary purchases without end.

AD&D1e does that. Sweet fuck-all else does.

Hell, I just--on a whim--drew up the title object from The Picture of Dorian Gray because I thought it would be an interesting route for Illusionist attempts at immortality.

Shadow Portrait Pact (Illusionist, 7th level)

• Level: 7
• Range: Touch
• Duration: Permanent (until dispelled or destroyed)
• Area of Effect: One portrait
• Components: V, S, M (a masterwork portrait worth 5,000 gp, a shadow gem worth 2,000 gp, and a drop of blood from a planar entity)
• Casting Time: 1 day (ritual)
• Saving Throw: None (for creation); Special (for costs)

Description: The Illusionist enchants a portrait of themselves, forging a pact with a shadow-based planar entity (e.g., a being from the Plane of Shadow, DMG, p. 183). The portrait becomes a liminal conduit, existing between reality and illusion, absorbing the caster’s physical and moral consequences. The spell has the following effects:

• Eternal Youth: The Illusionist ceases to age, remaining youthful and unblemished. Physical consequences (e.g., scars, disease, but not hit point damage) are transferred to the portrait. This is a semi-real effect, drawn from the Plane of Shadow, akin to Shades or Demi-Shadow Magic.
• Consequence Transfer: The portrait visibly ages, gaining wrinkles, scars, and a corrupted appearance reflecting the Illusionist’s physical state and moral actions (e.g., evil acts cause a sinister expression). The portrait updates dynamically, using shadow magic to mirror the caster’s soul, guided by the planar entity’s judgment.
• Liminal Nature: The portrait is both real (it exists physically) and illusory (its changes are shadow-based, vulnerable to disbelief). Creatures viewing the portrait may attempt a saving throw vs. spell to disbelieve its changes, perceiving it as a normal painting, but this doesn’t negate its effects on the caster. Costs:
  • Psychological Torment: Each time the Illusionist views the portrait, they must make a saving throw vs. spell or suffer a -2 penalty to Wisdom and Charisma for 1d4 days, reflecting guilt and horror at their true self.
  • Vulnerability: If the portrait is destroyed (e.g., by Dispel Magic, fire, or physical damage, AC 10, 10 hp), the Illusionist instantly suffers all accumulated consequences (aging to their true age, gaining scars/diseases), requiring a System Shock roll (PHB, p. 12) or resulting in death.
  • Planar Pact: The shadow entity demands periodic service (e.g., performing a task every year) or shifts the Illusionist’s alignment toward evil. Failure to comply risks the entity withdrawing its power, destroying the portrait.
• Destruction: A Dispel Magic (cast at 14th level or higher) or a Wish can break the enchantment, triggering the vulnerability clause.

Mechanics:

The youth effect mimics Youth or Wish but is semi-real, tied to the Plane of Shadow. The DM may require a System Shock roll every decade to ensure the caster’s body withstands the shadow magic (PHB, p. 12).

The portrait’s dynamic updates are a unique feature, justified by the planar pact and shadow magic, akin to Permanent Illusion but with metaphysical ties.

The moral reflection relies on the shadow entity’s judgment, as Illusionists lack divine magic. The DM determines how “sin” is reflected (e.g., a Chaotic Evil act might add a cruel sneer).

Rationale:

The spell fits the Illusionist’s liminal nature, creating a portrait that exists between reality and illusion, its effects dependent on shadow magic and belief.

The planar pact mirrors the novel’s supernatural bargain, grounding the spell in AD&D 1e’s cosmology (DMG, p. 183).

The high level (7th) reflects its power, comparable to Alter Reality or Prismatic Wall, while the ritual and costs balance its benefits.

The spell stays within the Illusionist’s domain by using shadow magic (Shades, Demi-Shadow Magic) rather than physical transformation, preserving class identity.

Using the Spell

The Illusionist casts Shadow Portrait Pact as a ritual, creating the Portrait of Eternal Youth. The portrait is stored in a secure location (e.g., a hidden vault), as its destruction is catastrophic. The planar pact adds narrative tension, as the shadow entity might demand morally compromising tasks, echoing Dorian Gray’s descent. The psychological torment ensures the Illusionist cannot ignore the portrait’s cost, making it a double-edged sword.

That, by the way, took less than 15 minutes. I did it while eating dinner.

Why the hell are you giving people your money? Master the game you have. It has what you need to make everything you'll ever want.

Because Real Games have this as a core feature in their design, Real Games will inevitably be what the Real Hobby standardizes around over time; this is where Network Effects show their power, and the one that is strongest wins- and, due to that and the Lindy Effect it stays on top once it's there.

People go where the action is; the Network Effect proves this. People stay where the action remains; the Lindy Effect proves this. In Tabletop (and MMOs, for that matter), they are one and the same. It takes an Outside Context happening--a Black Swan--to even try to change this, and that's happened, but all it did is kill the Fake Scene--the Lifestyle Poseurs and their CONSOOM PRODUCT! faggotry--so only the Real Games and the Real Gamers will remain.

One hobby will, sooner than later, standardize around one game because it'll be a lot easier for hobbyists to stay engaged if they focus time and energy on just one game- and it will become a lot easier to be engaged no matter where you go or what real life throws at you. Blogs replacing publishers, Clubhouses replacing stores and conventions, and the POD regime making print accessible for all hobbyists ensures that old games stay around indefinitely.

One game. One hobby. One future. See you at the Clubhouse.