My Life As A Gamer: The Orc Warlord Who Failed To Launch (A New Model Colony Report)

It is New Year's Eve, so I will make this report a little different.

Following last month's conclusion, the Dervish took up his men and departed for the Gnome clan's stronghold. This path followed the river leading north out of the Colony's home hex, and encounters along the way were almost nil--they found a pair of bear dens along the river (non-hostile Monthly encounters) before word reached them about dire news from the Gnome lands.

Orcs.

A vast number of orcs, bearing the banner of an icon of a disgusting corpulent orc-like figure, had come forth from their cavernous holes to rally around their master, who in turn is said to be in thrall to some evil master with the power to mezmerize the weak-minded.

This orc horde numbered into the hundreds, arrayed for war, and were in pursuit of a figure known He Who Laughs At Fools, a figure said to rule from a position of great sight and protected by a legendary princess said to be either made or or from a land of jade.

The Dervish leader, unimpressed by so fat a figure, decided on the spot to meet this orc horde.

The Orc Horde, numbering almost 500 orcs, met the Dervish along the river leading back to the Colony. The instant he saw no cavalry among the Orcs, the Dervish knew victory was certain.

Despite being outnumbered two to one, the Dervish and his forces smashed the Orcs apart and the riverbanks flowed red with Orc blood in the rout that ensued. The Dervish leader cleaved through the Orc warlord---grotesquely fat as expected, and just as cowardly--and his bodyguard by himself (being a 10th Level Fighter against low-HD targets does that) and put his scimitar though the warlord's skull.

The Gnomes accompanying the Dervish had little to do, other than to watch the flanks and provide intelligence about the area, but instead stood in awe at the display of martial prowess on display.

None of the Orcs survived; the few alive after the battle were interrogated and confirmed the above, then were executed as bandits.

After the battle, a message was sent back by pigeon to the Colony. The Architect laughed; it turns out that the Colony had taken over this laughing man's refuge, and had in fact been gone for many years by this point.

As for the Dervish, this battle ensured that his arrival at the Gnome's stronghold was that of a hero.

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Notes: This report concludes my review of the process of a Name Level character claiming a Wilderness Hex, clearing it of hostiles, and erecting a stronghold.

The Colony's home hex is a Forested Hill. To its South on three faces is Ocean (Coastal); on either side is a Mountain, and its north is another Forest hex, and a river runs through those Forests into the Ocean. The Gnome stronghold is yet another hex north, which is again a Forested Hill w/ a river.

This month's report is a nod to Jon Mollison's Decembork event and to the retirement of Mister Metokur. The former was a fun event to watch, and may Jim enjoy a peaceful life away from all this Internet insanity with his loving wife.