My Life As A Gamer: Bring It Home, Japan

Today is the final day of E3 showcases. Nintendo's E3 Direct and Bandai Namco are what's going to be covered today. As with the other posts, this will be edited with my takes as things go down.

Nintendo:

• As expected, simple and direct presentation. To the point. GOOD. More need to be like this.
• Kazuya from Tekken as part of the addition of Tekken fighters to Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. Someone will love this.
• Oh no, it's SJW Bullshit Not-Game Narrative Wankery. Life Is Strange stuff gets Switch ports.
• GOTG has a Switch version, but that was revealed yesterday during that horrible reveal.
• Worms Rumble gets a Switch release.
• Astrea Ascending. Side-scrolling RPG.
• Two-Point Campus' Switch version noted.
• Super Monkey Ball, 20th Anniversary.
• More Mario Party. Can't be mad. Bringing back past maps and stuff. This is proper fan service. All modes can be done online.
• Metroid 5, "Dread". Traditional title, w/ new Amibos to go with it. Fans should be happy. October.
• New Just Dance. Whatever.
• Crui's Blast. Arcade racer w/ music. Meh.
• Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot. Replay through the Buu Saga. Lots of sidequests.
• Mario Golf Super Rush. Can't be mad. This is a reliable title. Battle mode, Adventure mode, etc. to emphasize the arcade roots of this game.
• Monster Hunter Stories 2. Previously covered. (More Rise stuff, ditto.)
• New WarioWare title. Multi-player included this time.
• Shin Megami Tensei V. Hype train leaving the station. Get on board. Switch exclusive.
• New Danganrompa, Despair that is a Greatest Hits compilation.
• New Fatal Frame title. Maiden of Black Water.
• Doom Eternal's first expansion gets a Switch port.
• New Tony Hawk. It's Tony Hawk. You know what to expect and you're going to get it.
• Strange Brigade gets a Switch port. It's a historically-set Weird Tales adventure that involves a lot of arena shooting.
• Mario+Rabbits new title previously mentioned.
• New Advanced Wars. Combined 1 and 2 together. Eshop exclusive.
• Hyrule Warriors expansion pass DLC. Two releases. More Link musuo madness. Skyward Sword HD release coming soon. Good. Game & Watch release of the original, Zelda 2, and more. Not my thing, but someone will LOVE this.
• Breath of the Wild 2! Cinematic trailer, 2022 release. We're going into the skies this time, boys.
• Treehouse does more gameplay stuff after this, but I'm dipping out.

Okay, granted, the bar was set so low that it wouldn't be hard to have the best show, but unless Bandai Namco really steps up their game then the Big N wins this year. They came at you clean, they came at you direct, they didn't waste your time, and they didn't bullshit you. Intro, trailer, street date, repeat. That's how it's done, folks. That's all you need to do, and that's why Nintendo'd Direct format is becoming the new norm for industry customer interface events like this.

What they showed did include stuff that isn't really a game, or announced elsewhere, but what is new is also what is wanted and demanded. A new Metroid title? Check. A new SMT title? Check. New Zelda? You better believe it. The re-releases are nice; I did not expect that Advanced Wars announcement, but I welcome it. New WarioWare? Not my thing, but I am glad to see it. Astrea Ascending looks like I'll check it out, and Strange Brigade is decent so I'm glad it got a port.

See all that? GAMES. ACTUAL. FUCKING. GAMES. Games that look like fun. Games that I'll want to talk about, share with friends, and stream/record so I can share my experience with others. There's a lot of them, and even the ones that don't interest me look like a good time. Little of the Live Service bullshit; buy once, cry once, expansions actually optional (but at $20, that Hyrule Warriors expansion looks like a good deal). This is how the gaming business is done, folks. You respect your customer, be good to them, and they will shower you with money and so will their children and grand-children.

This attitude is antithetical to SJW Death Cult thinking as well as Mammon Mob thinking. This is why, other issues aside, Nintendo remains a company worthy of respect if not admiration and you're utterly fucking retarded to think otherwise. Flawless? Hell no. Better than the rest? At this time, far and away. Let's see if Bandai Namco can keep up.

Bandai Namco:

• We have confirmation of a NEW Super Robot Wars title coming this year to the Switch (and expected for PS/PC).
• House of Ashes. Mentioned the other day. Dev interview segment. Lots of tech talk, some gameplay talk as the latter relates to the former. Not a good sign. Some film thot is in it to sucker rubes. Suspect.
• Oh look, a TV-style host segment to pad out the run time.
• Oh no, BN isn't actually doing their own show. They're letting the journos do this. FML. Automatic fail due to forfeit.
• That's it. Nothing. Not even a nothingburger. They didn't even show up>. Whatever actually mattered was not released for Anglophone audiences. WTF, BN?

Meanwhile, this was in the JP-only Nintendo Direct. English version recently added.

You didn't shit the bed. You didn't even show up. Great job, there.

*deep breath*

Okay, let's confirm the obvious: Nintendo wins E3 2021. Best Show, Best In Show (pick something), you name it and Nintendo won it. No, don't care what the ESA or the journos think because they're fucking retards with delusions of relevance just like OldPub's Hugos and Hellmouth's EGOT scene (Emmy, Golden Globe, Oscar, Tony) or its European counterparts like the BAFTAs.

However, it was against competition weaker than tissue paper in a thunderstorm. Seriously, either they didn't show up or they shat the bed (with the sole exception of Microsoft; who was merely mediocre and thus came in second).

Fuck this industry. Stick a fork in it. It's DONE. Bring on the Collapse.