Friday, December 15, 2017

"The Last Jedi" is a Dumpster Fire- Don't See It!

As of this post, the only people loving this film are shills, fools, and folks under contract with Disney or Lucasfilm. The rest of the world sees this film for the steaming pile of shit that it is. They don't know how bad it really is, something I'll go on at length about this Sunday at Empire, but for now I'll start with the World Class Bullshitters and their dunking on this film. Get your popcorn and make yourself comfortable, because this ifs going to be a hell of a ride.

This movie is a goddamn dumpster fire. It's such a failure of fundamental elements of storytelling that anyone who has any acumen at storytelling cannot unsee how badly this film's narrative is put together. This film violates every single piece of storytelling craft that there is, and as such it cannot help but to fail at its purported purpose.

Knowing how this business works, it will open big. If it is not #1 in the US by the time the weekend box office take gets totaled and tallied, that will be the first tell that this film is a failure. (More likely is that its domestic run will fail to hit the box office revenue targets set for it by Lucasfilm and Disney, which will have to be made up with foreign box office receipts or high-level executives will not get their year-end bonus- and that's something that makes heads roll in that world.

Once was a fuckup. Twice was incompetence. Thrice? Willful stupidity at best, and I don't think it's the best scenario.

Fuck Mouse Wars. Fuck it, sideways, with a shovel covered in shit and burrs right up its ass. Don't see this film. Don't see any other Mouse Wars films. Don't buy ANY Mouse Wars merchandise. Don't buy Mouse Wars games--tabletop or otherwise--and don't buy any tie-in media. Walk Away!

It is now obvious that Star Wars must be forked away from this pozzed piece of shit. This is not just sanctioned fan fiction; it's "My Immortal" levels of crap. We have the tools now to do it all ourselves, and then to distribute it far and wide, so why not do it? Hell, we can even pay bills doing this, and we can do it legally- just look at the incredible success of the Galaxy's Edge series of novels. More of that, and stuff like it, from others also, will come soon enough.

And as I allude to above, I sense something worse than simple incompetence at work. Watch for Empire on Sunday.

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