In the New Current Year, RPGs are Still Not Storygames

Welcome to 2018, where there are still plenty of fucking morons out there who are under the delusion that storytelling and RPGs are actually a thing.

They're not.

When you start thinking in terms of story, you start thinking in terms of narrative structure and tropes. Rising action, falling action, character arcs, plot turns, story beats, and all that stuff now intrudes on a medium of game where the actual paradigm of play is that of a wargame: you have an objective to achieve, you have a limited set of resources to do so, and you must take the current situation into account (with imperfect information) when making decisions on what to do and how to do it to advance towards the goal.

Narrative thinking directly violates this paradigm.

By thinking in terms of story, you cheat the player by necessarily negating his agency when it interferes with the story. Can't have the villain get whacked in the first encounter, so you're going to ass-pull his escape. Can't let the information on the plan get blown in the first act, so they can't find it even if the rules of the game or their own skilled play says otherwise. Can't have the heroes lose once they collect all the plot coupons, so no matter what they win in the end.

You want a story? Go buy one in the fiction aisle. Want to tell one? Stop being a pussy bitch and write it, you double-talking cunts. I did that, and I'm better for it; nothing makes crystal-fucking-clear the differences between RPGs and stories than actually doing both of them properly.

"But Muh Gygax!" Bitch, you don't know marketing copy when you read it. That's why you're a rube who's easy to sucker into buying shit you don't need, doing things that don't help you, and backing plays that aren't in your interest. Stop being dumb. You never take marketing copy at face value, especially when it directly contradicts how the product actually works- and no RPG worthy of that name actually works under narrative logic. If you don't need it to function, then it's not part of the product. You do not need narrative logic to make any RPG function; you work under wargame logic alone.

"Buh Muh Designer!" I've been actively engaged in this medium for over 35 years, thinking and playing both deep and shallow, and as I look back I see that the folks who make the things routinely don't fucking comprehend what they created. Few did, and all but a few are now dead of old age or related causes; none of the motherfuckers currently hawking the big game, its direct knockoff, or its many also-ran competitors are among that number. In short, I've got a depth and density of expertise that shows me why your favorite retorts are bullshit. I know this medium better than most alive, so my own counsel I will keep.

It's this simple: you can succeed at an RPG purely by tracking your man's resources, noting the current situation, and just saying "My man does (x) with (y)." and roll the dice. Nothing else is required. Narrative logic is not required. Voice acting is not required. Backgrounds, family histories, countries of origin, etc. are not required. Hell, you don't even need a fucking name; lots of Original Gamers didn't bother at first, and didn't take it seriously when they did. (Or do you really think "Drawmij", being "Jim Ward" backwards, is somehow a serious approach at charcater design? If you do, you're a retard, and you're not tall enough for this ride.)

Lots and lots of motherfuckers over the years didn't grok what this medium is, and tried (and are trying) to make it into something it is not. It's a wargame. Looks like one, plays like one, resolves like one, and that's why RPG players and wargamers have and do overlap to such a significant degree- even now, after all the bullshit bolted on to the medium in my lifetime. It's why you do not, and never have, needed to give a shit about the lore to be a good player- even in CRPGs and MMORPGs. Story is ancillary to the game, at best, and few GMs bother to find ways to make knowing lore relevant to gameplay (mostly because they too have no incentive to give a shit).

And that's why it's a bald-faced lie--a fraud, since there's commercial and financial factors at work--to claim that RPGs are about story. You can strip all of that out and still have a functional, satisfying, experience because the gameplay is pure: just you, a challenge, and a set of constraints to work around to beat it. You don't even need other people to participate; just you and a GM is enough. You can't say that about narrative logic, so it's exposed as superfluous and therefore not a part of the medium.

So yes, to say that RPGs are about story is wrong. Now that you know better, to continue claiming so makes you a liar; if you get anything financially or otherwise from doing so, you're guilty of fraud, so knock it off if you don't want to be punished for it. I've had enough of this Narrative Warfare, so it's long past time to push back good and hard against it. Stop lying!